The Top 11 Things You Shouldn't Put Stickers On

How are stickers awesome? Oh, let me count the ways... later.
Admit it: we've all secretly loved stickers since we were eight months old. We stuck them on our faces, our

loved one's shirts, on walls, on beds, on assorted wild animals, and to the insides of our esophagus when we accidentally swallowed one. And today, we pretty much do the same thing. Whatever pattern, from butterflies to superheroes, presidential candidates to (if you're lucky) Napoleon Dynamite's face, nobody can resist a good sticker.

Here's the problem though: not everything is worthy of being endowed with the awesomeness that is stickers. More to the point, stickers don't really go with everything. While some objects just have a strained relationship with our adhesive friends, others look just plain wrong with Pinkie Pie or Buzz Lightyear's face stuck onto it. So, consider this your guide to at least 11 things that are completely not acceptable to put stickers on:

11. Policemen

Yes, I agree, they do need to lighten up a little. Still, if you're wondering what to do with the Justin Bieber stickers you bought 4 years ago when you thought he had talent, save them for a less risky location. My

advice: keep the Biebs off the Fuzz.

10. The Queen of England

Another candidate for lightening up a little. Unfortunately, however, the MI6 doesn't seem to appreciate stickers as much as we do...

9. Honey Badgers

Despite the ongoing claims that llamas hold this title, honey badgers are hands-down nature's fiercest warriors. The sheer power of these mammals is never to be underestimated. Even if it's dead, out of respect, please don't go sticking any adhesive images onto this animal's body: it honestly takes the edge off the honey badger's epicness. Also applies to dog sweaters, bowties, and anything that looks like something a hipster would wear.

8. Motorcycles

Along with making a Harley Davidson look like a tricycle, it's also not really safe sticking Disney Princesses on any random biker's ride. Not too sure how Hell's Angels would react to that...

7. Jell-O

Well... I don't know, something about this scenario just makes me feel nauseous. Although glue is nontoxic...

6. Sumo Wrestlers


This is your only warning: if you do this, you will never see that sticker again. It will live out the remainder of its days as a castaway in the Great Sea of Fat.
I am dead serious...

5. British Royal Guards

While the MI6 may not like stickers, British Royal Guards are still only human. I'm guessing they would like assorted rainforest creatures stuck onto their face and clothes... not that they would ever admit it. Still, I'm pretty sure it's a felony in England, so don't take the chance. Plus, their job's already hard enough; no need to tempt them with tree frog stickers.

4. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson

NO!!! Just... no!!!

3. Your Tongue

It looks dumb, (it is dumb), and there's a severe risk of swallowing. Plus, it doesn't stick very well anyway, and if it does, you wont be able to taste for a few days after removing it.

2. Caskets

... you know, I'm just gonna let that one speak for itself...

1. Donald Trump's Hair

This one might fit better in my Bad Idea posts. Kinda like the sumo one, but with hair instead of fat, and kinda like the motorcycle one, but with legal fees instead of Hell's Angels. Kinda like the Jell-O one, too: tell me you're not getting nauseous at the thought of sticking your hands in this guy's hair. Plus, you don't really know if that's really hair or just a toupee. Yep, whatever way you look at this scenario, it doesn't end well.