What Not To Do: While Sledding

Ah, sledding: that painful, backbreaking, yet way-too-awesome-to-pass-up kind of time that we all love to hate. Why we climb to the highest hill in town just to slide down and climb it again is one of those questions without any real answer... the only thing we need to know, is that its fun while it lasts.


But even during this stupid-fun time, there are some things that nobody should ever do. Trust me, I know these things... And even if you live in the south, like me (you know, that place where it NEVER snows?), there are still some things you need to take to heart when it comes to any kind of sliding. These include:

Do Not... Carry Around Taco Bell Hot Sauce Packets In Your Pockets!
It sounds ridiculous, I know. But, c'mon, we all know we've done it once or twice before. And these tiny receptacles of deliciousness should NEVER be caught in your coat pockets (and especially not your pants pockets) if your going to be flying down a hill at 30 mph! Trust me, I know...

Do Not... Wear Sunglasses!
We've all had it happen to us before: we hate having snow fly into our eyes at high speeds; so we wear our Raybans, to look awesome and keep our eyes dry at the same time. But its not as perfect as it sounds: not only does it look uncool, but you can't see a thing with them on! That could cause a painful crash, and even more painful ridicule.

Do Not... Lay Down Backwards On The Sled!
There's a fact that we should all establish before we go out to the hill: you're here to have fun, not show off. So when you're about to take the plunge, do not lay down in the dreaded position (on your back, with your head facing down the slope). Nobody's going to think you're any cooler with a neck brace... Unless, you want to break a few bones on a snow day. In that case, go right ahead.

Do Not... Jump Down The Hill!
This is probably the most tempting of them all: a bigger jump seems to make for a faster slide, right? Not always. Jumping down the slope can actually make you stop flat in your tracks, sometimes at a 25 degree angle, a position you don't want to be stuck in. And especially don't do this if your using the following sleds: cardboard, wood, pool floaties (unless you want to convince the neighbors you set off a bomb), linoleum, or nothing (that feels something like a punch in the stomach).

Do Not... "Dry Sled!"

If you don't know what this is, let me explain: "Dry Sledding" is sliding down a large, dry hill in a large cardboard box (rubbed with candle wax). This may seem like an amazing redneck dream-come-true at first glance... well, it is an amazing redneck dream-come-true. But this "sport" can lead to some of the nastiest wipe-outs known to man. You see, you're in a box that tends to get crushed. Now, put yourself in that box, and imagine sliding down a hill in it. Now, imagine it actually being crushed...
with you in it...
The choice is yours, but if I were you, I would avoid this like the plague.


 And last, but not least, don't stay out too long. The Freezing/Thawing process of a long sledding trip is tradition to some, dreadful to others. Thus creating the love/hate relationship we all have towards sledding. But in the end, its definitely better to go sledding next time you see the white stuff than not... but, by all means, wait for the snow. Its a lot better than wiping out in a greasy cardboard box.