What Not To Do... On April Fool's Day!

April Fool's Day... frankly, its my least favorite holiday of the year. But when treated right, it can become a glorious celebration of laughing at yourself and others (and who doesn't love at least half of that?).
And it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out why I'm writing this cautionary post on the infamous day. Yeah, sure, its coming a day after, but just so you wont get any cruel ideas to use. I care about your health, well being, and criminal record enough to do that for you...
Anyway, even a Celebration of Fools needs some ground rules set, which include:

Do Not...  Use Explosives!

OK, the term "explosives" may throw you off a bit, but let me give an examples:
One of VH1's Top 40 Pranks is a viral You-Tube video of a man removing an airbag from an old car and placing it inside a couch cushion, which a friend of his promptly sits on, and... he goes flying. Although it is a hilarious sight, its nowhere near that for the person sitting on the Death Sofa. In fact, that's more than 100 pounds of force kicking the victim in the backside, which is definitely not something you would want for yourself! Oh, and don't even think about using ANY type of fireworks, unless you enjoy sleeping at homeless shelters.

 
Do Not... Do Anything 
With A Toilet!
Many will groan at me saying this, but... yeah, sorry, this is about the lowest you could go. Toilet pranks are not easy to laugh off, can be damaging to property (and plumbing bills), and can ruin somebody's day. Just because its April Fool's Day doesn't mean you have to act like a jerk.Whatever you think you're going to be doing with that appliance - Vaseline, Plastic Wrap, Fake Toilet Paper Rolls - it wont be taken like a prank, and can set some pretty low expectations for the future. Staying classy with your pranks (yes, there is such a thing) is always the best way to go, and any kind of toilet prank is not among them.



Do Not... Play Pranks On Strangers!
Family members, who know your personality pretty darn well, will probably understand if they get "pranked" themselves, because they expected it at this point. But there's something to keep in mind here: strangers are a different, and annoying story. You see, family members don't usually like suing their relatives, or filing restraining orders. Strangers, on the other hand, who more than most likely have their lawyer's number on speed dial, love to. A simple inconvenience will set them on fire, along with their lawyer's pay raises. So if you don't want to be going to court because of a rubber snake, then keep it in the family please.

Do Not... Take Pranks Seriously!
Seriously everyone, could we honestly say that we haven't been "pranked" at some point in our lives? Of course we cant, because we all know that one person who knows we're all gullible on the inside, and will make us pay for it, in the name of April Fool's Day. But taking these pranks too seriously can result in grudges, lawsuits (see above), counter-vengeance (when you get revenge on the pranker, who then gets revenge on you because they cant take a joke), and other uncomfortable situations. And remember, revenge should always be kept until April Fool's Day, but even then, keep it on the same terms of the original joke (if its a rubber chicken, get a rubber spider; if its a pie in the face, make it a face in the cake; etc). Nobody wants to start a prank war, because its been done before, and rarely has it ended well...

I hope you've learned a few things from this post (besides the fact that April Fool's Day is, for the most part, pointless): that this day can be finished without going to sleep in pain the next night, and, when you follow these rules, it can actually be pretty darn fun. I hope I can be more of a teacher to you in the future...
But if you use explosives, don't be asking me to pay the damages.