Note: Although there are many sites and sources that claim there is no rules pertaining to visiting Wal-Mart, there is something you need to know: only low class creeps follow that info. If you consider yourself a low class creep, you are free to click away. If not, you've already started reading, and might as well read the rest.
Ah, Wally World... I hate you.
Sure, its convenient, and full of "everyday low prices" (more or less), but there's just something about your endless isles that disturbs me to the core... it might be the guy in the clown suit that haunts the sporting goods department, but I may be wrong.
Of course, many of you have to agree that Wal-Mart is a force to be reckoned with, and already have to agree rules are needed; but it seems that we all forget the unwritten rules we try to carry around with us when we go. So, I'm putting my foot down and writing them all here. There's sure to be some that I miss, but I think you'll be able to fill the blanks. Once I get more money, I'll sell this guide in booklets at Target. Until then, pay close attention and feel free to take notes. Its the fourth What Not To Do guide out of five, and it might just be the most important one yet:
Do Not... Wear Pajamas!
... I can see it now... about ten readers have just clicked away. And I know your logic. "Its Wal-Mart. Who's gonna care if I'm in my PJ's?"
Three words: People of Wal-Mart. Yes, that group started this whole stink about Wal-Mart etiquette. If it wasn't for their popular website ( peopleofwalmart.com ) we wouldn't have to worry about what we look like at the supercenter... in retrospect, we really shouldn't have to. Leave it to the internet to ruin everything...
So whether its "Froggy slippers" or those Toy Story feet pajamas (which is really just an innocent term for a leotard), leave the PJ's in the top drawer.
Do Not... Be A Test Taster!
Its a terrible thing: partially opening bags of snack foods to taste its contents; trying on every pair of pants without the will of buying any; or worse yet, swapping shoes with the display boxes. I've seen it all, and its disgusting, especially when you have flies flying out of shoe boxes... in the toddler department (I don't even know how that works). The temptation is there, I know, especially when you have been dying to try that new Pringles flavor, or are bored out of your mind and find enjoyment in trying on 50 pairs of pants.
But for the sake of being polite (and not crushing a child's hopes and dreams of the perfect pair of shoes) don't be among the dreaded Wal-Mart "taste testers".
Do Not... Be An Anthology Subject!
Let me explain something I said earlier: it actually was reported that a man in a clown suit stalked the sporting goods section of an undisclosed Wal-Mart location. Security cameras showed a man walking into the restrooms in the back of the building during the evening hours, with what appeared to be a disguise of some sort. When confronted, the man ran, and was not spotted there again.
Whether this report is true or not, we all know that one person (or four) that make our local Wally World visit a disturbing event. While it may not be as extreme as a clown stalker, there's still the everyday old guy that yells at clothing, or a friendly neighborhood "cat-man".
No comments:
Post a Comment